January 12th, 2009

A good robot

One day Kuttappan's dad bought a robot. The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face.

Kuttappan returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, " Son why are you late from school?"


Kuttappan answered, "Dad we had extra classes today".

Much to his astonishment the
Robot jumped up and slapped Kuttappan on his face.

His dad told him "Mone (son) This robot is special in that he can detect a lie and will then slap the person who lied now come on tell me the truth, why are you late?"


"Dad I went for a movie"

"Which movie?"


"The Ten Commandments"


S-p-la-tt Kuttappan got a tight slap on the face from the robot.

"Sorry dad..i lied again, honestly I went for an adult movie."


Dad : "Shame on you son when I was your age I never used to do such shameful things."


S-p-la-tt, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot.

Hearing all this, Kuttappan's mother comes walking out of the kitchen saying, "Athu pinne enginnenaa, ningalude monealle?" (After all he is your son, he will be like you), to which the robot steps up and gives a resounding slap on Kuttappan's mother's face.

nday, January 11, 2009 11:09 PM "Ahmad Fuad Ahmad" fuad9_99@yahoo.com

Enjoy while you can


HOW TRUE IT IS

 

Another year has passed

And we're all a little older.

Last summer felt hotter,

And winter seems much colder.

   

I rack my brain for happy thoughts

To put down on my pad.

But lots of things that come to mind
Just make me kind of sad.

  

                          There was a time not long ago
                            When life was quite a blast.
                                       Now I fully understand
                             About "Living in the Past".

   

We used to go to friends' homes,
Football games and lunches..

Now we go to therapy, to hospitals,
And after-funeral brunches.

   

We used to have hangovers,
From parties that were gay.

Now we suffer body aches

And sleep the night away.

   

We used to go out dining,
And couldn't get our fill.

Now we ask for doggie bags,

Come home and take a pill.

   

We used to often travel
To places near and far.
Now we get backaches

From riding in the car.

   

We used to go out shopping
For new clothing at the Mall.

But, now we never bother...
All the sizes are too small.

That, my friend is how life is.
And now my tale is told.
So, enjoy each day and live it up...


 

Before you're too darn old!!

So enjoy it while you can...


Live, Laugh and Love!

 Sunday, January 11, 2009 11:03 PM "Ahmad Fuad Ahmad" <fuad9_99@yahoo.com>

 

Tesco

 

TESCO => Jewish Supermarket


Sekitar tahun 2000 akhbar The London Jewish News (
www.ljn.co.uk) diedarkan secara percuma di kesemua
cawangan Tesco di seluruh  England .

Ini ialah akhbar Yahudi yang memberikan sokongan secara terbuka untuk regim ganas Zionis di Israel.

Pengasasnya ialah Sir Jack Cohen berasal dari keluarga Yahudi yang kaya raya. Nama pasaraya Tesco
diambli daripada nama isterinya Tessa Cohen.

Disamping mempromosi produk  Israel   di rangkaian pasarayanya di seluruh dunia, mereka juga telah
membuat perjanjian perniagaan dengan syarikat perisian Israel   yang berjumlah jutaan dollar.

Jack Cohen lahir pada 6 Oktober 1898 dan meninggal dunia pada 24 Mac 1979 dan dikebumikan di Tanah
Perkuburan Yahudi Willesden,  London , England .

Anda boleh sahkan maklumat ini dengan hanya membuat "search" di internet dengan menaip  "Tesco Jewish"  dan anda akan dapat pelbagai laman web Yahudi yang dikaitkan dengan Tesco.

Keputusan ditangan anda sekiranya anda mahu menyokong Yahudi dengan mempertingkatkan ekonomi mereka apabila anda membeli belah di Tesco.

 

Monday, January 12, 2009 4:38 PM "rohaida" rohaida@dbp.gov.my

 

Beautiful Green Dog.


Read and Return the Green Dog
 
Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two
 
1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I  am with you.


2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

 
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
 
4. A
true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
 
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
 
6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
 
7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
 
 
8. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
 
9. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
 
1
0. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
 
1
1. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

12. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.


REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

True friends: How many people actually have 8 true friends?

Hardly anyone I know ! But some of us have all right friends and good friends!!!

 
You have been
Tagged by the Green Dog!
 
  ,-._,-.
 \/)"(\/
  (_o_)
 
ruff!!!!!!


You will Have Good Luck For Two Years if you send this to 8 people or more and if this is sent back to you then you are a true friend......


You must send it in 5 minutes or your good luck will run out.


 *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
  Being happy is the priority of living,
  If u wanna be sad,
  Be sad 4 something thats worth it.
  
  *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
 
Monday, January 12, 2009 7:25 PM "sh_khatijah@yahoo.com" <sh_khatijah@yahoo.com>

 

Senility - Great stuff


Sending it to only people who understand the ravages of time ..it lightened my day though !  

Hope we have enough sense of humor still, to laugh at ourselves in time to come



 




When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea. No sooner were the papers delivered when a friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, 'You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea.' Replied the widow, 'I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit he always was.'

 



An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got! a fax from the boat. It read: 'Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000 . Please advise.' The old man faxed back: 'Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap.'

 




A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket . They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, 'Watch that wall!'

 




When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, 'I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.'
I said, 'Well, then why are you crying?' She said, 'He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon.
I said, 'Well, why are you crying?' She said, 'For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m. ' I said, 'Well, why i n the world would you be crying?' She said, 'I can't remember where I live!'

 




Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.' Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'

 



THE SENILITY PRAYER
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway. Grant me the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

 




Now, I think you're supposed to send this to 5 or 6, maybe 10 oh hell, send it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are. Then some! thing is supposed to happen . . . . I think.

 

Monday, January 12, 2009 5:39 PM "sh_khatijah@yahoo.com" <sh_khatijah@yahoo.com>